ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
