So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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