Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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