You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
