your room smells of hookers.
And success
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize