just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
