drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
even my farts smell like vagina
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
