Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize