I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
