he wants to bone in the snuggie
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
farters have to be the big spoon...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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