in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
