So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
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