xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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