he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
