Banned from zoo.
Again?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
