im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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