Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You made out with two different species that night
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize