I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
