Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize