idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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