I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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