His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
