Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
