If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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