$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
