Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
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The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
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He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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