didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
