physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
this just has baby written all over it
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
