Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
