My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It's just like the Real World with babies
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
