We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
