you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
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You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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