I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
