so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
she told me i tasted like america
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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