Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize