He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
