You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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