once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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