Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Randomize