ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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