Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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