I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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