Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Do vagina's smell?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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