what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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