just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
