he wants to bone in the snuggie
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
