Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
