): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
