Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize