I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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