apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
