Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We need to get me chipped asap
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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