We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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