LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
