I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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