I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
