In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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