i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking