if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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