Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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