Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
