I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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