So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Damn victory sex feels great
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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