your thong is hanging out like whoa
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
